But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past, there must have been a moment of truth…
Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good.
Somewhere in my youth or childhood…if it were me singing that song, I could’ve added ‘or past life.’ I definitely felt that I must’ve done something right as last week, everything miraculously fell into place, allowing me to go to Mayapur for four weeks in March. I thought I was unbelievably fortunate to be in Vrindavan for Kartik. It enlivened me like nothing ever before, and has been in my thoughts ever since. Returning home, I never could have imagined that I would be getting the chance to go back to the holy dham within a matter of months. I can’t quite fathom what I might’ve done to be so blessed, but whatever it was, I am grateful. It crosses my mind that maybe I’m not cashing in on pious credit. Perhaps my only qualification to be doing so much travelling, is my youth and relatively short and travel-friendly academic year.
But then I realised that it’s probably down to none of these things. The real reason must be that Srila Prabhupada and Lord Nityananda are showering some wholly undeserved mercy upon me. I pray that I will never take this for granted. I pray that I will never foolishly think that I can visit these holy places at my own whim – and that I will never underestimate their spiritual potency. This opportunity is definitely a precious gift – I pray to make the most of it.
‘The lotus feet of Sri Nityananda are as cool as millions of moons. The whole universe gets peace by the shade of those lotus feet. Without the mercy of Sri Nityananda, nobody can get Radha and Krishna, the aim of human life. Therefore, catch hold of the two lotus feet of Sri Nityananda Prabhu very tightly.’
-Verse 1 of ‘Nitai Pada Kamala’ by Srila Narottama Das Thakura